Saturday, October 1, 2016

509 Days In: A Big-ish Update

Saturday 10/1/2016

It has been quite the transformative fall thus far, and it ain't over yet. I'll synopsize:

The company I worked for was bought by another company.

The CEO of the new company turned out to be full of baloney. He claimed to raise funds that he never raised, and we were collectively broke, because the old company was about to shut down when we were bought. Come to think of it, I'm not sure how you buy a company if you don't have any money... but that's a different problem for a different blog.

The new company ended up being in terrible financial straits, and that right quick.

The new CEO flailed, listed to the wrong influencers, and fired people.

I was one of the people fired. Two-ish weeks ago.

Not fired-fired, mind you: terminated. Not for cause, but because they needed to cut costs.

The next morning hubby and I left for a long awaited weekend in the mountains.

I cried and got angry, communed with nature (and some large cattle) in the backcountry, and healed my soul a little bit.

We came home and I decided to turn this blog into a book. Yes, this blog. Exciting, no? Well it is to me. 

So that's what I've been working on ever since. I have become peaceful, happy, grateful, lighter of mind and de-stressed. I sleep until I wake up which, surprisingly, usually means that I'm up within 30 minutes of the time I used to get up to go to work. I take care of my dogs, have some tea, watch Columbo, eat breakfast, get the dogs outside, then back inside and bedded down for the morning, I wander up the stairs with a second cup of tea in my paw, shower, dress and sit down to write. 

Holy shit, it's the best thing that's ever happened to me. The best - by a lot! - thing that's ever happened to me. Except for the supportive hubby, of course. That's the best, because I don't have to worry about a thing for the moment. He's not pressuring me to find a new job and thank God, because my heart is just not in it. After I give this book thing a go, then yes, I'll look for a job. But for now I'm perfectly content to be at home, not moving or shaking, not attending meetings of sitting in an office staring out the window and wishing I weren't sitting in an office staring out the window. I listen to the music that I love and sing out loud when I feel like it. I run or walk when I need a break, I eat lunch and at some point I make dinner, or run errands, or both. 

I am free. Unencumbered by nonsense, making no heavier decisions than what to thaw for the next day or when to go for a drive up in the mountains. I've never had an experience like this in my life, and I mean to make the most of it.

I'm still seeing the NUCCA guy, and he's helped me tremendously. I've also continued my pursuit of food additions and lately had two major (I'm talking earth shattering) wins: tomato and cashew. Both of them. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat? For reals, and I'm beside myself with joy. Tomato for obvious reasons, I mean, come on - tomatoes rule. Cashews though, why such unbridled happiness? Because the cashew is central to paleo baking, and I'm just itching to do some good baking. I have a couple of fantastic paleo cookbooks that are not necessarily AIP friendly, but they can be by simply making some substitutions. I'm learning this stuff the hard way, I can assure you. That's how I learn pretty much everything! 

Anyway, the books are by Danielle Walker, and they are titled Against All Grain [blah blah etc.]. I got the first one from my NUCCA guy and then picked up Celebrations at Costco last weekend. OMG, this chick is not playing! She knows what she's doing. So far every recipe I've tried has been a knockout (in the good sense) and I'm dying to try more. There are recipes for cakes and cookies and breads... I could go on, but I won't. Get the books. Get them. 

Back to cashews, right? Right. Her bread recipes and lots of other baked goods have either cashew butter or raw cashews in them. I was super hesitant because of how the attempts to add cashews went in the past, but after tomatoes passed (4th time's the charm for food additions, apparently) I felt particularly ballsy and just said "fuck it". I bought some crazy expensive raw (not even organic, mind you!) cashews and threw a handful into my gullet. Raw cashews leave a little something to be desired flavor-wise, but after eating this way for well over a year I'm pretty much used to things being not-fantastic in their raw state. 

I waited. No reaction for 4, then 6, then 8, then 24 hours.

I ate another handful. Hey, they were starting to taste pretty good by the second handful! I jumped in with both feet, and had another handful later that day. 

I waited. No reaction for 1, then 2, then 3 days. 

I ate a few more for good measure. For a snack, actually. And it turned out to be true - cashews passed!

This proves to me, once again, that what I'm doing is the right thing for my body. After taking time to heal and avoiding foods that I reacted negatively to, I was able to add back in the two biggest offenders. 

A few weeks ago I also added rice back into my life. No reaction. I avoid it like the plague because of the carbs, but this opens up a new world of food to me. Pho! There's a Pho place nearby with GF Pho, and rice noodles that are so pillowy you want to lay your head on them. My goodness, it's a true winter delight! I'll be able to have it again this year. 

Right, that's probably enough for now. Back to working on the book for me, and back to healthy living for all of us.

Cheers to a new life!

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